One very good friend of mine, Keith, recently climbed an 8b boulder problem. It's been funny when I knew, because I was browsing 8a.nu and saw he was online. He must have been adding this last, powerful tick.
Nice one, really.
Now, this effort shocked me a little bit. Not per se, because he is capable of even more, but because it made me think to what I lack to climb hard. I wonder how he trained to get 8b done, or even IF he trained at all. Ok, he is an extraordinary talented climber, especially on physical abilities, but then? Is there something more? I mean, it's not 8a. It's 8b. I think that many people could climb Fb 8a, with serious work and dedication, but 8b is alot, alot more difficult.
Moreover: I keep blogging bullshit about my training progresses, about how hard I can crank on a fingerboard, about how happy I am. Well, and so? When will I start (will I ever?) to blog about climbing hard? "More business, less party" I often read somewhere. It seems a good choice.
I think I should climb more, and more abroad, on differen problems and kinds of rock, but now I can't because I have to work, so I train.
Am I at another crossroad?
Should I really take the courage to drop everything to just climb?
Should I embrace every advantage life gave to me under form of a wealthy family, to live what I really would like to live?
Will this be enough to climb hard, or will it lead to the sad conclusion of just being unable to do certain things and getting back to the line?
I am full of envy for those who have many friends to climb with. I'm not prone to give myself excuses, but it's very strange to me that I'm always climbing alone, or maybe with just one random friend that was casually around. Since Magic Wood this past summer, I've climbed with someone else four times.
I was hoping to be climbing with more people now that I live in a big town, but seemingly here everyone prefers to sport climb, and even my old time partner Luca has embraced the dark side.
I am sad about this, because I think that now I'm being denied something. I'm being denied some reward for my efforts. It's simple: no outdoor bouldering=worthless.
I don't know if I can go on like this, putting alot of time, money and effort into something without having anything back.
I want to be very clear: I'm not blaming anyone except me. I know that I may be living under some circumstances that may make some things harder for me to achieve, but I also think that we always have a choice, and nothing is already written on the wall.
Also, I know that I already have alot, under form of a girlfriend that is enthusiast about going on small, brief climbing trips, and doesn't care if I spend one entire weekend under a roof to nail just one move.
But sharing climbing with other climbers is different. Only climbers know how climbing is, how hard it can be, and how addictive, frustrating, psyching, wonderful.
One man on his own can do nothing. Nothing except dead hanging some crimps and blogging about that.
And being sad.