Wednesday, 21 May 2014


In the pictures, training body and mind at the same time. 

Then, I do not understand why some people like to detail how many minutes it took them to climb a boulder problem or a route. The odd "15 minutes", "20 minutes", and so on, on 8a.shit. 
I'm being modest as usual. Of course I understand why they do so: it's because the less it takes to climb a problem, the stronger the climber is supposed to be. So, if a climber takes "15 minutes" to climb an 8a, he appears to be stronger than the climber who took "15 minutes and 38 seconds" to climb the same problem. 
Bull. Shit. 
No one cares about time, we're not sprinters, and we're not making love. 
When two climbers have climbed the same problem, on that problem they are equally strong, if we're talking about climbing. 
Otherwise we would need to create a new way to grade a problem: it's 8a in less than one hour, 8a+ in less than half an hour, etc. 
You got the point. 
Everything is getting so fucking complicated that my mind boggles: number of tries, number of days on, number of minutes, how long did one drive to get there, he had fever, he hadn't taken a dump, he had diarrhea, he was on a bad mood, he had snorted cocaine, he was full of love, he had wanked five times... 
The last thing we need at the crag is some idiot who times you on your project. What will it be next? "I skipped a rest", "I used crappy shoes", "I thought about work during the climb"? Every excuse seems good to try and show that - ceteris paribus - for some reason one is stronger than another. 
Goddammit, you either climbed a problem, or you didn't. Get a fucking clue. 
The only way to show you're stronger, is to climb a harder problem or to show down on a fingerboard, pull up bar, campusboard or gym. 
I tend to think that many of those who just climb, have far too much time on their hands, and things get complicated.  
And I want them as simple as possible. 

Friday, 9 May 2014


Summer temps are already here, and with them I have another perfect reason not to go climbing. 
Under my board, with outrageous tank tops that would have me banned from every crag in the world, from every gym and from every sane congregation of climbers - if such a thing exists - I can unleash what is left of a once powerful physique. 
Weeks and weeks on end of dining out are slowly but steadily changing my body composition, and I already dream about the days to come, the powerlifting days. Last Sunday, first thing in the morning - ok, no, first was coffee, second the toilet - so, third thing in the morning I ordered this ebook
When my traps will finally join my ears, and I'll bicep curl twice my bodyweight, then I'll be happy. 
In the meanwhile I just have to stick to training for climbing. Or, to be more honest, to training for training. 
Training is what I like and what I do, and if it gets me up something, all the better. If not, I don't care, as long as I get stronger. 
Ascents come and go, and can depend on many factors. But when you are in front of a loaded barbell, lifting it depends only on one factor: are you strong enough? 
The same can be said for the mother of all training for climbing: fingerboarding. The hold is there. You either can hang it or you fucking don't. Try changing your climbing shoes motherfucker, if you can't hold it. Try to dropknee mutherfucker if you can't hold it. Ahah! Where's your fucking god now. 
Anyway, I'm digressing. 
I tweaked a couple of excercises, lately. I've always thought that I'm weak on crimps, but I've never liked to train the full crimp on a fingerboard, leaving it for board climbing and rock climbing. So I started doing feet on campusing but using a full crimp, as shown in this video. 

The full crimp works the tendons a lot more at the level of the palm of the hand, because obviously also the first phalanx has to be flexed closer to the palm to full crimp. I really felt the difference. 
Then, this thing called Power Endurance is pretty cool, to be honest. Despite the fact that I'm pathetic at it, I keep doing it because it still has the word "power" in its name, so it can't be bad. 
I switched from doing 3 consecutive goes on the same problem, resting just the time to get back to the starting holds and chalk up, to climbing the same problems pausing 5 seconds on each move. 
It's cool and fun. While lapping the problem, you always get at least 10/15 seconds of rest, between the laps, so - despite finishing the third lap with exploding forearms - this rest could cause some bias when transferring the training onto rock. If ever it will happen. 
The new excercises are in these videos here. 

Last but not least, a little rant. 
When I read a pro climber giving advice on life, I get mad. As pro climbers, they should only give advice about climbing, and not about how you should live your life, letting you know how brave they are to live with no boundaries, no bonds, only guided by their dreams of the perfect route or perfect boulder. Bull. Shit. 
And with this nice little drop of good vibes, I now get the fuck out of the office and go training before dining out. 
Come. The. Fuck. On.