We are having a very cold winter so far, and we live in one of the most famous towns in the world for art and culture. These two things, apparently not related, bring to our attention two very important aspects of modern life: how to keep yourself warm, and the presence of tourists.
As many of you may have noticed, these two things are common in female tourists: most women nowadays wear big, fluffy boots called "UGG" to keep their small feet warm, then they go around the world into them boots.
Well, my ladies, I would like to give you a few tips about wearing "UGG": the word is very similar to "HUGGS" and this is fine, I want to hug you all, but the world is also dangerously similar to "UGLY". The "UGG" boots are ugly, and deserve to stay in this world for only one reason, that I will explain.
"UGG" boots have to be worn with loose pants, so that said pants can be pulled off with the boots staying on, enabling the lady to be loved naked but with the boots on.
This is the only reason that will allow "UGG" boots to remain on Planet Earth: to be worn by a completely naked girl, in a perfect Playboy Special Christmas Issue centerfold stereotype.
And, as you all know, nothing is sexier than a sexy stereotype.
Now go and reveal this truth. Amen.