Saturday 10 July 2010

OMPHALOS


When I am at the bar, I am the center of the universe. I stand there and I watch people pass by. I observe every glance of the barman, I listen to every word every customer pronounces. And I judge humanity upon what I see when at the bar.
So I can see someone asking for a coffee at 8 pm, which is a legitimate thing, but then I can see the same person eating tons of peanuts, chips and everything's on the bar. And that is NOT legitimate. No finger food with coffee. We are civilized people.
Or I can see the fat girl who, after three dishes full of sandwiches, omelette and pasta, is shy to have another drink, because "cocktails contain too much sugar". But I can also see nice couples, or beautiful ladies, well dressed and polite.
So, my friends, go to your local bar, and don't be shy to ask for something a bit particular (maybe not a Singapore Sling when the barman is busy with dozens of customers, or he will hate you forever. The Singapore Sling, however, should only be sipped while in Singapore, with a perfectly shaped 18 year old prostitute to your side), because your barman will be happy to make you your favourite cocktail, will be happy to be doing not the usual gin-and-vodka-and-amaretto-shit, or whatever the tosser wants, to reach unconsciousness as fast as possible.
Remember, when at the bar, be cool, be stilish and be polite, because I could be there, right elbow on the bar, judging humanity.

1 comment:

Ghostface said...

I love this Lore. Similarly, watch your back. I'm watching at all times..