BUS THOUGHTS

I am sitting on the late bus to Florence, to sleep at The Guru's place and avoid waking up at six tomorrow morning. I went bouldering today, for the second day in a row, as usual at the Chiesina sector. I wasn't psyched at all, I wanted to go somewhere else and a friend of mine didn't, so I sacked it and we went there. 

Still feeling a bit disappointed by the balmy conditions and by my lack of skin, lack of training and lack of time, now, on the bus, it suddenly dawned to me that today I climbed the usual problems, but still I climbed 7a+, 7b, 7b+, 8a/+, 7c+/8a. 

I am really really puzzled. 

GOING ON

Again a lot of time since the last post. Even now, I don't know exactly what to write here: is this still a climbing related blog? I don't know. For sure  climbing has taken the backseat in this moment of my life, after being at the wheel for the last few years. 

I am understanding a lot. I realize that I could have used part of the energy I put into climbing to secure, for example, a better job. But I didn't do it, so I have to do it now. 

The main change, climbing wise, is that I don't force myself anymore. I am not a robot anymore. 

In the last weeks I've been going to school in the mornings and to the law firm in the afternoons, often until 8 p.m.; I had dropped my climbing classes, and my life revolved around work. I had become a robot once again. This time it was a working robot, but a robot nonetheless. 

So I decided that I needed to take the climbing classes back, and to fit a little bit of everything into my life. 

At the moment I am still focusing mainly on work, anyway, and many things are getting close to the crux: I have started thinking about the final thesis of my Criminology Master, I hopefully will get another book to translate into Italian (fingers crossed!), I have to attend a couple of courses to become an official examiner for those foreign students that need the official certificate of Italian as L2, and finally I'll have to teach how the Italian Penal Procedure works to a class of Mexican law students. 

All these different things often keeps me awake for a while at night, but it's all for good. 

Finally, I touched some wood and some rock. 

The wood was under the form of nice, medium sized campus rungs. At last we have decent rungs at the gym!!! The ones we had before were terrible, they were too slopey and downturned, with no catch at all, so doing big moves - for me - was close to impossible because I would always slip. Now, with the new ones, you can really pull down as a bastard. A thing that I did last Friday while coaching the girls on the system wall, doing a fantastic 1-5-8 that, with 23 cm spaced rungs, represents my absolute personal best. 

Yesterday, on the other hand, I shared a perfect day with a really good friend of mine and his girlfriend. Obviously we were at Chiesina, where I found myself really strong - courtesy of excellent conditions and excellent company - and nearly repeated my old project. 

As you can imagine, all my climbing trips have been postponed, and the initial idea of another invasion of Britain this February will have to wait. I could be spending a few days in Swizzy with my good friend Filo, before he casts off to go and tech for a few months at a University in Sweden, but it's not sure. 

Anyway, I understood that if I follow my friends, everything is fine. 

Finally, and this is really good news, especially for the few fortunate ones that had the chance to try it, the mighty "Trombicche" - my favourite tavern - closed. Why good news, you may ask. Because they sold and they reopened in a bigger place, that is absolutely fantastic. Come and see! 

 

 

A LOT OF...

A lot of time passed since my last entry, and a lot of things happened, mostly inside my mind. 

After finding myself in a completely new situation, I found out I needed change. 

The first change is that I quit climbing. It's over. 

The second change is that I started seeing a nice girl. 

The third change is that I started looking for new a new job. 

So, I think I sould give you more details. 

The climbing. The climbing is simply over. My obsession for it had a big part during my recently finished relationship, and I had to readdress my priorities. Climbing wasn't giving my anymore the joy it used to, it had morphed into a selfish, obsessive/compulsive behaviour that clearly emerges in many posts like this one. 

I wanted to get rid of this beast, and I did. I didn't really quit climbing, as you can imagine. But I did get rid of the compulsiveness of it. I stopped going training on rock despite being alone and despite conditions; I stopped the circular thinking that made me think about the evening session as my first thought in the morning (for real). I reduced the amount of training and most of all, I reduced the space that climbing and training occupied in my mind. 

Sometimes, I force myself and I do not train, despite wanting to. Because it feels like a form of... masturbation. For some time, it had all the distinguishing traits of real masturbation, like the isolation, the uselessness, the compulsivity and the self-satisfaction. 

I didn't want any more of that all. Now I still train, in small sessions, with no pressure, and almost everytime with someone else. Many times, if I'm alone, I just do some fingerboarding while doing other things. 

Strangely enough, in the last weeks the hardest projects on my board got climbed, some of them even retroflashed, and some others just hiked. Moreover, in one session I finally managed to climb all the sequence of my system wall on pinches, a feat that had been my goal for one year and half. Ten moves, from 1-1 matching every hold to 6-6 with bad feet. Each move feels as hard as they come. 

On another session I found myself easily dangling from the slopey pockets of my Beastmaker, front2, with 6 kg on. Before, I could barely hang them for a few seconds. This particular performance left me in shock and I quickly went to the bathroom to weigh myself: I was still the same as ever, I hadn't lost weight. Maybe that day my skin was particular wood-friendly, who knows. 

So, I see a nice girl. And that's all you need to know, really. 

And finally, the job. Many things changed. I realized that this kind of teaching isn't enough for me anymore, the human relation with the studens is still great but the subject isn't so broad that it allows a personal growth and research. So, with the help of a few beloved ones, during the holidays I started sending CV's around, searching for courses to increase my preparation as a teacher, and I finally decided to get back to my roots and start again the legal practice to become a lawyer. 

From next monday, I will be at school in Florence the mornings, then I'll get back home in Siena, change into a suit and go to a lawyer's firm to get my practice done. When not at school, I'll go in Court with my lawyer mentor to attend the trials and to learn how to stand in Court. Days will be long. 

So, I have two parallel roads and I want to make the most of them: while completing the legal practice I will try and improve my teaching job; then, after completing the practice I'll be able to sustain the exam to become a lawyer; after passing the exam, I'll draw my conclusions and I'll see what I'll do. 

This is the plan. Now I need a coffee, before going to the gym for some system training and for my climbing class. Because I quit, I told you.