Wednesday, 28 December 2011


Yesterday was a special day, made of friends that are more like brothers, with me even if far away; a day made of perfection. Today was a normal day again, but nothing will ever be the same, I won't ever be the same: once we've been special, although for a brief moment, we won't turn normal ever again. Once we've loved, in a special way; once we've been loved, in a special way; or in this case once we've climbed, in a special way, we are changed forever. It may sound stupid to give such an importance to a climb, but it's not about the climb, it's about what you do to get that climb; it's about what you go through; it's about what you inflict to yourself and to your close ones; but most of all it's about understanding our deepest recesses; it's about discovering the most horrendous and the most beautiful aspects of ourselves.

Footage from today:


martin said...

BIIIIG congratulations!!! you def. look very different, very strong while climbing compared to spring!!!

and the strongest is your mind for sure - thanks for sharing your epic journey. impressive in a time of "sent" in 30sek, 5min, first try, softy, blablabla!!!

lore said...

ciao Martin!!!
thanks for your kind words, but I don't deserve them - yet!!! the other day I climbed in a special way, that's true, but I didn't complete the problem. I got to the last holds and had to let go, my fingers were in pain, and at that moment I didn't care about the problem anymore, because I knew I had done it.
so, I've done it, but I haven't done it!!!
the footage is from the following day, I wanted to film it without cuts but could not repeat it. maybe this is why I look stronger in the video!!!
I definitely grew stronger in the problem, and while before I could have one good go for each session, now I can have many. I keep going there to film it, and to gain fitness for my other projects. And to top it out dammit!!!
It's very strange now, I feel empty when I'm there, and this makes me sad, just like when you know a great and long travel is over. I don't know, I think the real great moments, the other day apart, have been weeks and months ago, when I started making the very first small progresses, which were so shocking that they made me claim the ascent with no reason. I really got mad on this thing. I lost my mind and sanity at moments. It's been awesome really.
Now I go there and everything is different, the challenge is not there anymore, and what before was a dream, full of doubts, now has become a reality, with its pros and cons, like discovering your dream girl is a normal girl in real life.
I seem to be unable to finally draw a line and put an end to this adventure. I don't want to let it go. I want to reclimb it and reclimb it and reclimb it.
The love is over, but I don't want to let her go.
Then, I found out that not everything in the climbing world makes me psyched. Sometimes I read what people do and it gives me nothing in terms of true inspiration. Sometimes I feel that someone uses grading not to try and find a hierarcy for a problem or route, but to create a hierarcy for climbers.
Some other times I realize that I put my self esteem and confidence in the hands of others, and they don't know what to do with them.
So, really, I try to select very well what I read, what and who I dedicate my time to.
I think that I need others more: it cannot be a coincidence that my best day on the project was when I was there with my best friend for the first time after many many years. I always climb hard when I'm with him.
I really have to thank you Martin for commenting here, because you made me find the words to try and understand my feelings in a better way.
I hope to meet you soon on rock!!!
Thank you really and happy 2012!!!