The complete mess that is my life in this moment cannot be descibed here. I read what I wrote past saturday and can't help but ask myself questions.
How do the recent happenings relate one another? Why so much shit hits the fan right now? How can I protect myself and my love from the enemies?
I feel attacked. I feel that I have to protect my life from these attacks. My family is playing a really heavy role in this moment, and while our love is solid, everything else seems to fall apart. I will cling onto my love, I will cling onto my work, that, for the first time in my life, is giving me happiness and satisfaction. Maybe that's why I am so threatened now, maybe others can feel that I found a way to live my life in a different way, maybe they don't want to allow me to live happily. I don't know, I'm trying hard to understand.
The future revolvs aroun few things that have to fit into place very soon: when they will, my girl and I will cast off, without saying goodbye, and without turning back.
Climbing wise, yesterday I put again my left hand around the arete of OOS sit start, but I wasn't as concentrated as I should have been, I wasn't desiring it hard enough, and I lost my heel hook and fell. Fatigue, cold and humidity didn't allow me to perform better.
The very important thing is that my shoulder is getting much better. I wish my mindset will do the same, against everything and everyone.
Thank you for reading this and for sharing my troubles.
How do the recent happenings relate one another? Why so much shit hits the fan right now? How can I protect myself and my love from the enemies?
I feel attacked. I feel that I have to protect my life from these attacks. My family is playing a really heavy role in this moment, and while our love is solid, everything else seems to fall apart. I will cling onto my love, I will cling onto my work, that, for the first time in my life, is giving me happiness and satisfaction. Maybe that's why I am so threatened now, maybe others can feel that I found a way to live my life in a different way, maybe they don't want to allow me to live happily. I don't know, I'm trying hard to understand.
The future revolvs aroun few things that have to fit into place very soon: when they will, my girl and I will cast off, without saying goodbye, and without turning back.
Climbing wise, yesterday I put again my left hand around the arete of OOS sit start, but I wasn't as concentrated as I should have been, I wasn't desiring it hard enough, and I lost my heel hook and fell. Fatigue, cold and humidity didn't allow me to perform better.
The very important thing is that my shoulder is getting much better. I wish my mindset will do the same, against everything and everyone.
Thank you for reading this and for sharing my troubles.
1 comment:
I hope you are alright Lore. You sound troubled. Glad to hear your shoulder is improving.
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