Sunday, 1 February 2009

CHAOS

The complete mess that is my life in this moment cannot be descibed here. I read what I wrote past saturday and can't help but ask myself questions.
How do the recent happenings relate one another? Why so much shit hits the fan right now? How can I protect myself and my love from the enemies?
I feel attacked. I feel that I have to protect my life from these attacks. My family is playing a really heavy role in this moment, and while our love is solid, everything else seems to fall apart. I will cling onto my love, I will cling onto my work, that, for the first time in my life, is giving me happiness and satisfaction. Maybe that's why I am so threatened now, maybe others can feel that I found a way to live my life in a different way, maybe they don't want to allow me to live happily. I don't know, I'm trying hard to understand.
The future revolvs aroun few things that have to fit into place very soon: when they will, my girl and I will cast off, without saying goodbye, and without turning back.
Climbing wise, yesterday I put again my left hand around the arete of OOS sit start, but I wasn't as concentrated as I should have been, I wasn't desiring it hard enough, and I lost my heel hook and fell. Fatigue, cold and humidity didn't allow me to perform better.
The very important thing is that my shoulder is getting much better. I wish my mindset will do the same, against everything and everyone.
Thank you for reading this and for sharing my troubles.

1 comment:

Richdraws said...

I hope you are alright Lore. You sound troubled. Glad to hear your shoulder is improving.