Sunday 4 January 2009

SEX AND THE BOULDERS

I just got back from my first sexual bouldering trip.
I went to Cresciano with fellow puller Luca, but don't panic, none of us got into some strange adventure with nor men neither women, but the whole three days of our stay were full of sexual moments.
First of all, at the border the lady who sold us the Swiss autoroutes pass, thought we were going to the Casino and made strange comments. When we replied that we were going climbing, she asked "Where?", I said "Cresciano" and she replied "Oh, that's in Italy, no?" and we left.
Then the search to find a hotel proved to be the best part of the journey. After many unsuccessfull tries, while heading back towards Bellinzona, we bumped in a motel near the outskirts of town. In the parking lot there were a few men talking and smoking (it was - 5°), we parked and went in. A deserted bar with ball room welcomed us. At a table in the middle of the entrance room, a posh lady was casually reading some 1372pages worth of a book, probably Tolkien at first glance. I crossed her eys and felt something. I was about to ask what was she doing there, but resisted. Then came the owner (of both, the place and the girl probably), and we asked for a room. He said "We don't rent rooms. And by the way they are all reserved." I didn't take the time to show him the evident contradiction he'd just fallen into, and after he suggested another hotel, we left again. The parking lot was now full of men with Mercedes, with big smiles on their faces. I will never tell you where this place is.
We got to the second place, the one that the pimp master had suggested, and we were greeted by the concierge, a very polite and elegant guy with a penchant for males. Immediately after giving us the room keys and immediately claiming the money, he told us that we could go, the following morning, to the Lago Maggiore for a nice walk, and also to see all the towns adorned with crystal christmas bells. After watching our puzzled glances, he realized our tastes were different from his, and quickly suggested another destination, pointing out that there we could find "Beautiful girls".
So this were the first hours in the land of bouldering paradise, where, incidentally, prostitution is legal, in care you're interested.
As for me, I shared for three nights small rooms with a guy who's most frequent question are "Could you suck my dick?" and "Could you wank me?".
In between this all, I also managed to climb.

1 comment:

Ghostface said...

No shit Lore,

This was identical in so many elements to my day after new years eve!!

A very very rich gay man tried to love me. And wanted to marry me and give me everything. Including trying to buy me two bottles of Crystal champagne!

I resisted....