Friday 12 December 2008

FEELING DOWN

I feel very sad, almost depressed. Why? I don't know. Probably my inability to talk with my friends, the fact that this caused alot of misunderstanding plays a part in my sadness. I thought they weren't going to climb with me because of my childish, bitter behaviour. They thought I wasn't going to climb with them because I wrote about it on here. Fact is that I spoke with Luca the other night at the gym about climbing together this sunday, one thing that's not going to happen unless indoors. I apologized with him also, for pulling him away from the trip one day earlier, everything is gone now.
Filippo made me think alot. He is right to tell that he isn't going to give me a bad reputation in the gym, after my failures in Varazze. Of course he isn't. Why should he? Whould I do a similar thing? No. So why should he behave differently in this case? Again, childish, bitter, envious behaviour from me.
I'm sure my back and shoulder troubles are making me sad as well, but I'm absolutely positive that what makes me so sad now is realizing that in the past weekend I lost a great occasion to be happy, relaxed, and to enjoy the company of two sincerely funny guys. One missed happiness is a good reason to be sad and a real shame.

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